


Illusions

by Mysticteen



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Comfort, Denial of Feelings, Eventual Fluff, Hurt, Lies, Manipulative Sheev Palpatine, Mind Manipulation, Multi, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Post-Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, Protective Dooku (Star Wars), Qui-Gon Jinn Lives, Qui-Gon Jinn Needs a Hug, References to Depression, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:54:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26962477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysticteen/pseuds/Mysticteen
Summary: Master Qui-Gon Jinn survived the battle against Darth Maul, but he's still in danger due to the severe wound in his abdomen.What no one expected was that because of that attack on Qui-Gon, it would bring back many people who had left long ago.Was what was happening the truth? Or was it simply a unconscious illusion of Qui-Gon?
Relationships: Dooku & Qui-Gon Jinn, Feemor & Qui-Gon Jinn, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Qui-Gon Jinn & Xanatos, Qui-Gon Jinn/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn/Tahl (Star Wars)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 38





	1. Hope?

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome! I hope you like this story. ♡
> 
> This begins a few days after "The Phantom Menace". I think this will be a bit long to develop, as I am looking forward to write about the Clone Wars. I hope that from now on the way situations arise will be to your liking.
> 
> On the other hand, I would like to apologize in advance if there are any mistakes in the writing. English is not my native language.
> 
> Thank you for reading, may the Force be with you!

* * *

After the eternal seconds of panic, help had arrived in time, or so the young Padawan wanted to believe, who a few days ago was embracing his Master with all his strength.

Qui-Gon Jinn had stopped breathing in his arms after asking him to take care of Anakin's training, but the Jedi healers took care of reanimating him and took him to a more appropriate place to treat the several wound in his abdomen. 

There was no certain news of what might have happened to Master Jinn, but Obi-Wan was more restless than he could have been at any other time. He feared for his Master, he feared that he would never see him again and that his efforts to keep him alive would have been merely in vain. He wanted to release all that was tormenting him, to place his worries in the Force, but at the end of the day he could not deceive himself, his fear was still present. 

All Jedi in the Temple were concerned about this matter even though they appeared to be very well. It was the first time something like this happened, and although they had missions to complete, they kept on asking about the state of Qui-Gon. 

Even the retired Master of Qui-Gon Jinn appeared in the Temple when he heard that his former Padawan was seriously wounded. 

Count Dooku was not very demonstrative; when he was still in the Jedi Order, most Padawans were somewhat afraid of him despite the fact that Master Jocasta Nu said that this was simply the way he was almost with most people. Even so, his different expressions of seriousness managed to give him away in the end. 

At least that's what Obi-Wan thought after having analyzed him as many times as he could, who already knew how worried he was about his former apprentice, staying most of the time in the waiting room of the Jedi Medical Corps, waiting for some new news.

"News I bring," Yoda said as he left the room where Qui-Gon was being treated; he was the only one other than the doctors who had authorization to go in there at the moment. "They are not bad, but what you expected is not either."

Obi-Wan stood up, moving away from his seat to approach Master Yoda, eager to know what he had to say. The Count was not far behind, even though his relationship with Yoda was not the best at that moment; because of that, he needed only to hear the news and to complain if it was due.

"A serious wound Master Qui-Gon has, inside a Bacta Tank he is." He commented, looking away a little. "His mind fragile is, in a coma had induced itself. We do not yet know, but unconsciously moving us away from his mind he is."

"That means that... Do you not know when Master Qui-Gon will awaken?" asked Obi-Wan somewhat uneasily, turning slightly away from the Grand Master of the Jedi Order.

There was a silence before that question, one that felt eternal for the three present in that waiting room. It was very late for them; the night had already fallen on Coruscant, but neither Obi-Wan nor Dooku intended to move away from the room for long. 

"Young Kenobi, Master Jinn alive is, but little chance of waking up he has." He finally answered, causing Obi-Wan to freeze in his place. 

He didn't know what to answer or how to react. He did not know if it was good to have his Master alive in a machine but in a state of coma, or if it would have been better if he had simply died in his arms in that place on Naboo.

A disturbance in the Force drew the attention of Kenobi and Master Yoda, directing their gaze at the darkened aura of Count Dooku. His face was overshadowed, perhaps more serious than before, his jaw tense and his fists clenched, exerting so much force on them that his knuckles were white.

"This would not have happened if you had protected Jinn and his Padawan well." He complained, the disappointment was notorious in his tone.

"Master Dooku..."

"Dooku." Yoda interrupted Obi-Wan, who somewhat embarrassed, stepped out of their way. He knew it was obvious that they were going to ignore him, he was not even a Jedi knight. "That this happened was the will of the Force; we must be patient to understand its motives; in mysterious ways it works but for a reason everything happens."

"Do not use the words of my Padawan against me, Master Yoda." It was perceptible that Dooku took that as an offense. He had heard Qui-Gon say that several times, but this was not the time to remind him how positive the stubborn Jedi could be. "And don't try to blame the Force for your mistakes."

Obi-Wan was uncomfortable in the midst of that discussion. He wanted to leave, but at the same time he wanted to understand why his Master's Master was so angry with the Order. He wanted to know why recently he left everything behind, being part of _" **The Lost Twenty** "_, according to information in the great library of the Temple. 

Master Yoda remained silent, as if in this way he asked Dooku _"what they had done wrong according to him"_. He already deduced his answer, he knew his former apprentice well enough, but he wanted to hear it directly from him.

"I imagine Qui-Gon must have warned you that they were dealing with Forces that nobody had faced for many years." He began, with some resentment. "But still you sent a Jedi Master and his Padawan to fight a Sith, without any help or protection!"

"Qui-Gon was not ready, is what you are implying?" 

Master Yoda reversed the discussion in his favor, to which Dooku twisted his lips in disgust. Obi-Wan felt that he could hardly breathe in that place; his auras were too tense and he knew that anyone else could feel the great disturbance in the Force. 

"No, I do not imply that. But fighting a user of the Dark Side of the Force was not something that happened often; all you did was take the easy way instead of the cautious one. The whole Order was lucky that Padawan Kenobi was able to win in that fight."

Obi-Wan wanted to protest, but remained silent. He was not happy to be mentioned in any discussion, but for some reason he knew that Count Dooku was right this time. 

"All this ended up this way," Dooku pointed to the room where Qui-Gon was. "Because of the Council's bad decisions. Just like that time in Galidraan, where you wanted us to stop the Mandalorians and ended up with many Jedi being killed. Or the next time, in Baltizaar, where..." he stopped for a moment, furrowing his eyebrows. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself as he remembered those tragic events. "In that battle against the Gora's, many Jedi were lost because we went there without a good plan."

"The loss of Padawan Komari Vosa sad has been, Dooku." The aluded was on the defensive at the mention of his former Padawan. "And to her very attached you are, as well as to Master Qui-Gon Jinn."

Another silence, this time a little longer than the previous one. Dooku had his eyes on the ground, lost. And his expression was one of pain, something he didn't usually show because of his usual seriousness. 

Obi-Wan could not have felt more uncomfortable at that moment. He was already somewhat distant from the two present in that hallway, but still he knew that he was only there because his Master was behind the doors on his right. 

Finally, he made every effort to ignore them both, resting his hand on one of the metal doors of the room. He sought Qui-Gon's presence through the Force, using the bond they both shared as Master-Apprentice. 

He then thought that perhaps it was a mistake to attempt this as Obi-Wan felt that the connection with him was sealed; Master Jinn's mind was surrounded by impenetrable barriers. It was hardly possible to feel him in the Force, but that minimal sensation was the only comfort Kenobi had. 

It did not matter his pain, nor the nerves that caused his bond to be cut. It didn't matter that his recent fears might haunt him again at night, or that he didn't know what to do.

His Master was still alive and there was a small chance that he would open his eyes again. That was all that mattered, and he felt that he should hold on to the slightest hope for the time being.

Although in the end it seemed somewhat unhealthy.

He was dazed in his thoughts and did not know when Master Yoda and Count Dooku stopped arguing to pay attention to him. 

"I'm sorry..." Kenobi muttered, seeing the concern in Yoda's expression. "I think I just need to meditate... Take care of Master Qui-Gon, and please try not to disturb him."

He didn't wait for an answer, he didn't need one. He walked as fast as he could to get out of there, and the closer he got to his room, the more he felt he could breathe again in peace. Although he wasn't happy about returning to that place either, after all even though each one was separate, it was still the room he shared with Qui-Gon because he was his Padawan. 

While inside, he locked the door and decided to go directly to his Master's quarters. He felt like an intruder because he didn't own that part of the room, but at the same time it seemed like a warm welcome of comfort. He found among Jinn's closet one of his robes, and decided to lie down on the bed with that garment covering his face.

On the other hand, after seeing Obi-Wan leave, Dooku and Yoda remained silent, looking at each other seriously. The tension was noticeable even a few feet away from them, and Mace Windu knew that things could get worse if they were both still alone in front of Qui-Gon Jinn's medical room, so he decided to intervene.

"Master Yoda." Windu looked sideways at Dooku, quickly turning his attention to the great Master. "It is too late for you to stay here, we have many matters to attend to tomorrow. If anything happens to Master Jinn, the healers will let us know."

"Right that is, Master Windu." Yoda said little time after, and without the need for any kind of permission, decided to accompany Mace.

"Did you at least let Feemor know that his former Master is seriously injured?" Dooku asked as soon as they turned their backs on him, causing both of them to stop.

Windu refrained from expressing his annoyance at the Count's behavior, while Dooku holded his head high.

"Knight Feemor has been on a mission for a long time. We should not worry him about this matter now." That was all Yoda said as he continued on his way with Mace Windu.

Again, Master Yoda's response only upset Count Dooku, but at last that not even surprised him; he knew that he could be more disappointed by the decisions the Jedi were making. And he knew that Feemor would not be happy to be the last to know about what happened to his Master.

Dooku walked to the small window overlooking Qui-Gon's room; his tall stature was very helpful in this case. He saw his former apprentice resting in the bacta tank with a respirator; his body was connected to countless wires of a machine that calculated his vital signs and any other kind of disturbance.

He could hardly believe that the man who always seemed to be full of life was now destined to that confinement. And not only the machine's, but his own mind, which in the face of the shock, decided to leave him in a coma that may never be reversed. 

And worst of all, that scene only made the Count's darkness grow wider, to the point that all he wanted was _revenge_.

* * *


	2. Reproaches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Qui-Gon has an unexpected reunion with someone he lost years ago, but that meeting didn't go the way he thought it would.

* * *

The days passed uneasily for those closest to Qui-Gon Jinn.  
Obi-Wan was promoted to the position of Jedi Knight, and even though the Council was not very supportive, they accepted that he train Anakin.

The day he was knighted, he entered his Master's quarters to look for the lightsaber that he had kept after using it in that battle on Naboo. Although he wanted to believe that his Master would cut his Padawan braid, he saw it as unlikely that Qui-Gon would wake up soon, so his only option was to do it himself with Jinn's lightsaber.

He wanted to think that by doing so, he was somehow doing it for his Master. 

Soon after, he was assigned his own quarters with Anakin to start his training. Young Skywalker used to ask about the state of Master Qui-Gon, but Obi-Wan would simply reply that he was _"getting better"_. It was not a lie, after all, he was informed that the wound began to heal very slowly, although there was still no result with respect to the blockage of his mind.

On the other hand, from one moment to the next, Count Dooku did not appear again in the corridors of the Jedi Medical Corps area. Obi-Wan asked about him several times, but Master Yoda simply replied that he seemed to have _"lost hope"_. It was not a surprise that, after all, it was notorious the resentment he had against the Order.

What worried the Jedi Council was what the Count would try to do later. His emotional attachment to Qui-Gon would lead him to make bad decisions, and they feared that if Jinn did not survive, Dooku would attack them by blaming them for that tragic end; that could put all Coruscant at risk, they knew he was very careful about certain planned details.

( • • • )

"Master Qui-Gon, we miss you. Your presence is needed in the Temple..." 

Silence. 

"Feemor, forget it."

Another few seconds of silence.

"It's useless, he will never wake up, especially in that state."

Qui-Gon felt a painful lump in his throat as he heard those voices in the room. He could not move a single part of his body, but at one point he reacted and was now somewhat conscious, at least to hear those around him.

Or at least he thought he was conscious, because it was impossible that Tahl and Xanatos were alive.

 _Was it a hallucination?_ It must have been, because his second Padawan would not have hesitated to kill him if he had the chance; he knew how spiteful Xanatos was at times.

And on the other hand, Tahl never spoke so... Distant. She seemed angry with him, and although he knew that there were times when Qui-Gon made her angry, this time she had no reason to be.

He didn't even understand why himself was questioning that, knowing that they had both passed away long ago.

He needed to get out of there, and soon. But his body didn't seem to intend to follow his mind's orders.

"Does Obi-Wan still come to this room often?" He heard Tahl ask, but didn't know who. He couldn't use the Force either, all those restrictions made him feel like a bird without wings.

"He stopped doing it continuously two years ago." Feemor responded with a tired tone. "Now he only comes when he can, even though Anakin's training takes up a lot of his time."

"Well, you couldn't expect anything else. Qui-Gon has been here for almost a decade." Mentioned Xanatos, to which Jinn again felt pain because of that mention. Was he in a coma that long? "People sometimes get tired of looking out for those who have no future anymore."

"Xanatos, watch your tone." Feemor scolded, to which the youngest one made a complaint. 

"Oh, come on Fee, it's the truth. Master Jinn should have died from that serious wound in his abdomen, but they decided to be stubborn and lock him up in this room for life."

Fee?

_Did Feemor and Xanatos get along?_

"Let Qui-Gon rest, if Master Dooku finds out how you behaved here, you will have trouble." Feemor said in a serious tone, to which there were some sighs and then several steps in the direction of the doors of that room. 

_But Dooku had left the Jedi Order._

Qui-Gon didn't want to listen anymore, there was so much to process and he still didn't feel mentally stable. 

He wanted to believe that everything was true, that Tahl and Xanatos were alive, that he hadn't lost them forever.  
And at the same time, he wanted to believe that it was all a lie. That it was simply a trick of his mind, that he shouldn't have false hopes.

( • • • )

He knew that two weeks had passed since that moment. By then, he had struggled to recover and had managed to move some of his limbs. He even opened his eyes when the healers weren't present. But he had not received any visitors; it seemed that they had all left because they had missions to fulfill. 

For some reason, that night he was more energetic than usual, and he wanted to try to take a seat on his stretcher. He managed to do so after a few minutes, but that led him to try to get off.

As he put his bare feet on the floor and felt the cold of the floor, it was like a feeling that he missed deep down. Even so, his attempts to walk were ineffective, he had no strength in his body and this was noticeable due to his thinness, so he fell to the ground when he tried to stand up. This caused the room alarm to go off as he was disconnected from the machine that was analyzing his vital signs. 

In pain from the blow, he ignored the alarm, slowly crawling to the mirror on the side of the room.

"Master Jinn!" exclaimed someone at the doorway, but Qui-Gon ignored him as well, determined to get closer to that mirror. 

That person instantly disappeared to call for more help, and by the time more healers came in, Qui-Gon Jinn had seen himself in the mirror. He could not believe that the man reflected there was himself.

His hair was dark and short at the shoulders, and he looked just as young as when he took Xanatos as Padawan. He couldn't figure out his age, maybe he was in his standard 30s. 

"What...?" Jinn's voice was hoarse because of all those years he was speechless.

The doctors held the Jedi Master carefully and returned him to his bed. The shock prevented Qui-Gon from reacting to the many questions he was being asked.

"Let him calm down a bit." Said a female voice from the entrance, dismissing the doctors surrounding the Jedi.

Qui-Gon bit his lower lip as he recognized her, sensing that the tears would soon slide down his cheeks. _Was she really alive? How did it happen? He had seen her die, had taken her hand and cried when she took her last breath!_

They did some tests on Qui-Gon, and after checking that everything was all right, they told him he should stay on the stretcher because he was weak. Even so, Tahl Uvain managed to get a moment alone with him. 

"What happened to me?" Qui-Gon asked first, looking seriously at the Noorian woman.

"Thanks to one of the holocrons of the old Masters, Count Dooku found a method of making you recover. Your organs were badly damaged, but thanks to the ritual you began to heal and even that caused you to rejuvenate." She answered simply, crossing her arms.

"And you are alive..." He murmured, unable to believe that he was actually facing her.

"No thanks to you."

Qui-Gon frowned at the reproachful tone, making little allowance for the pressure on his chest.

"What do you mean _"No thanks to me"_? I don't know what happened all this time, Tahl, but I did what I could to keep you alive."

"You didn't make it in time, Qui-Gon Jinn. Balog made me all those... Experiments, and if it hadn't been for the Force, I really wouldn't have survived. The Force is what brought me back, just like Xanatos; he found redemption." She explained. His expression was one of pain, resentment, even disappointment. 

"Didn't I make it in time?" Qui-Gon could not help but laugh wryly at the accusation. "Tahl, you were the one who decided to go to New Apsolon alone. I warned you that it gave me a bad feeling, and all you did was ignore me." That was something he didn't like to talk about, and that's why he couldn't stop the tears from clouding his eyes for a moment. "Who knows what else would have happened if I hadn't gone looking for you?"

Silence took over the room. There was a tension between them that had never existed in all those years they lived together.

"Do you resent me now for that, because I couldn't save you like they saved me?" Jinn finally asked, to which Tahl tensed his jaw, uncomfortably.

"I'm angry with you for all the bad decisions you've made in your life, Qui-Gon." She pointed, letting out a tired sigh.

"This is not you. You may have been angry with me for many reasons, but you would never be able to tell me something like that."

"The years have passed, Qui-Gon, and people change. So did you after what happened with Xanatos." He wanted to protest but Tahl stopped him. "I told you it was dangerous to train him, and you didn't listen to me either. You killed his father in front of his eyes, you caused him to fall to the Dark Side."

"I never intended it to be like this!"

"Xanatos is much better now, and it's not thanks to you either." She accused, to which Jinn remained silent, making an effort so that those words would not hurt him. "Of those close to you, it seems that Feemor, Yoda and Dooku are the only ones who do not lose faith in you."

"What do you mean by that?" Qui-Gon looked at her in confusion.

"Well, Feemor and Dooku are doing their best to take care of you, even though they have been busy lately. Obi-Wan, on the other hand, got tired of waiting; he was very young when you left him in charge of Skywalker." She accused again, it seemed that she intended to reproach him for everything she had been keeping to herself. "You forced him to train someone you wanted as a Padawan, you didn't let him off because you had to leave him another burden, didn't you? It was obvious that at some point he would realize that you were just using him."

"I didn't know that I would survive the injury, and I never wanted Anakin's training to be a burden to him. It never crossed my mind to use him."

"Well, congratulations, at least the emotional attachment to you won't destroy us anymore. Not like it did in the past, you drove us to ruin." Tahl began to cry, trying to get back the air that was beginning to be needed. "But this time it will be your turn to taste the worst pain, Qui-Gon Jinn."

Without another word, Tahl quickly left the room. 

The knot in Qui-Gon's throat was indescribable. And though he had much to say, he simply laid his head on the pillow of the bed, closing his eyes as they burned with the need to cry.

Had he really ruined everything? Had he really made so many mistakes?

Seeing his beloved Tahl again and she telling him how horrible he had been as a person all those years was last thing he expected from her.

He couldn't take it anymore, and cried bitterly, grief-stricken but quietly, with no intention of attracting the attention of others.

After a while he fell soundly asleep. He was not dreaming, but was able to hear a distant voice, calling to him.

_"Master Qui-Gon, I have been told that your mind began to show signs of some reaction. I hope all is well, remember we are waiting for you."_

Those words left him confused, even more so when he heard Obi-Wan's voice since Tahl had said he was upset with him. 

So he just thought that was a mere trick of his mind, and ended up ignoring it.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, writing this chapter was a bit difficult because I got too sensitive. Maybe there are some things you don't understand at first, but later on they will make a lot of sense.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it!


	3. Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dark side is getting closer to Qui-Gon, but no one is able to see it.

* * *

"Master Kenobi, I bring good news!" The Jedi who was in charge of Qui-Gon Jinn's treatment stood in Obi-Wan's way, preventing him from going wherever he intended to go.

"What happened?" he asked anxiously.

"Master Qui-Gon Jinn's mind began to present some reactions, and from the activity of some areas of his brain, it can be said that he began to manifest certain emotions."

That statement surprised Obi-Wan, for after so many years of caring for his Master who was still in a coma, the hope that he would awaken was rekindled.

Without saying anything else, both went to the medical area where Qui-Gon was being treated for so long. The Jedi healer showed him a hologram of Jinn's brain activity patterns, and this made the young Jedi Master's day brighter. 

The Council had given up on the case, even once it was suggested that perhaps the best thing was to disconnect Qui-Gon from that machine. Yoda disagreed, Obi-Wan too. 

Some believed it was simply an emotional attachment to the Jedi Master, and others thought it was to avoid causing Count Dooku's anger. Count Dooku had been missing for quite some time; he was not found in Serenno, but they had a feeling that he was aware of what was happening to his former Padawan.

After further reports from the healer, she gave her space to Obi-Wan so he could talk to Qui-Gon. The young one approached the bed, approaching a chair to sit in front of him for a moment.

"Good afternoon, Master." He greeted, stroking his hair carefully, arranging some locks. It was amazing how Qui-Gon had not aged a bit. "I haven't been here in a long time, I want to apologize for that. I was on a mission with Anakin, you should see him, he looks a lot like you in certain ways."

Obi-Wan laughed briefly, looking intently at the serene expression on his former Master's face. Even his mind was unconsciously protected yet, but he was glad to know that the situation could be improved.

"Master Qui-Gon, I am told that your mind began to show signs of some reaction. I hope that all is well, remember that we are waiting for you." He commented in a friendly tone, coming forward to leave a small kiss on his former Master's forehead. 

Sometimes it was impossible for him to believe that almost a decade had passed since his Master was confined to that room. But on the other hand, he was glad not to have lost his hope; perhaps someday he would see Qui-Gon opening his eyes again.

Perhaps some day he would hear his voice again, perhaps he would tell him that he was proud of him, of all that he had achieved. Maybe he would thank him for saving him, and then he would say the he loved─

Obi-Wan quickly covered his mouth with one of his hands. He hadn't said that out loud, but had been embarrassed as if anyone had heard his thoughts.

Did he really still have mixed feelings about his former Master? _It must have been a bad joke._ That was totally forbidden, and he refused to accept that he had not yet overcome that problem.

He said goodbye to Qui-Gon after that, moving the chair away and putting it back where it was before. He had to talk to Anakin and tell him what had happened.

A few minutes passed before another person came into the room, looking at the man on the bed with some disdain.

"It took you a long time to start falling for my manipulation, Master Jinn." Chancellor Palpatine commented seriously. 

The entrance for him was secured, he had taken it upon himself to trick everyone into not noticing his presence, and he also knew that things were under his control and that no one would notice that he had come to visit Qui-Gon. 

"Your mind is certainly fascinating, almost a decade of resisting the cruelty your mind can be under my power." He laughed lightly, shaking his head briefly. "But now you are weakening, and sooner or later, you will end up surrendering to the darkness."

He placed his fingers on Master Jinn's temples, gently massaging them, exercising his power to affect his mind.

"The only reason Count Dooku still does not surrender to the Dark Side is because you are here alive." He murmured in a malicious tone, bringing his face closer to Qui-Gon's. "But what do you think your dear Master will do when he hear that here the Jedi provokes you only negative emotions? What do you think he will do when your own mind consumes you and no Jedi will be able to save you? _You_ will not be able to save anyone if you awaken, Qui-Gon Jinn, because you will be under _my_ control."

( • • • )

Qui-Gon woke up nervous and sweating. For a moment he felt the darkness envelop his mind and he didn't know why, but he didn't want to give in to it. He could not afford to be overcome by the bad events that began to torment him in the last days. 

He had to accept that his appearance was no longer the last one he remembered, and coincidentally, that Count Dooku was not the same either. He looked just as young as he did, and although the Count wanted to explain what happened, Qui-Gon was far from understanding how everything was so different.

Obi-Wan and Feemor were quite grown up, Anakin too.

Tahl and Xanatos were alive, and in small words, they were disgusted with him.

And Dooku was young because the ancient ritual he used with him affected him, too. And even more curious! He decided to return to the Jedi Order and was accepted. 

_Was there no control? Was everyone crazy? Why did they act as if everything in the Temple was just a joke? Had things changed so much in that decade?_

He did not know how to react to every event, especially because the Jedi Code remained the same, and he doubted that Master Yoda had started making exceptions.

"Good morning, Master." Qui-Gon looked at whoever came into his room, seeing that it was Feemor. "I'm glad you're up so early, but I think you should get some more rest."

The young Jedi knight had decided to take on the responsibility of caring for Qui-Gon as he tried to recover. After many checks, Qui-Gon Jinn was moved to his quarters and Feemor decided to live with him for a while.

"I see you've been sweating, are you feeling sick? Do you have fever?" He asked worriedly, approaching the bed with a cloth he had on the bedside table to wipe the major's forehead.

"I'm fine, I'm just confused."

"Why?" Feemor asked with curiosity, taking a seat next to his former Master.

"It's just that... This doesn't make any sense." He replied, taking a seat on his bed to get a better look at the young blond man. "Tahl and Xanatos alive... Dooku back in the Jedi Order... You here, helping me."

"Didn't they explain anything to you?" This time it was Feemor who was confused, and Qui-Gon responded by shaking his head. "Well, I understand why Dooku hasn't come forward yet, he's forbidden to do so at the moment."

"That's even stranger."

"Well... He risked doing a strange ritual to get you healed and it affected him too. It is clear that this is not something that a _'simple Master would do for his former Padawan'_. Master Windu considered that to be a dangerous emotional attachment, and you being so confused can make things worse."

"Well, at least there are some things that don't change." Qui-Gon murmured because of Windu's behavior, ignoring the issue of his former Master's attachment to him, it was... Difficult to assimilate. "What about Tahl and Xanatos? How were they brought to life?"

"The shock to your brain must have been very hard, Master... Because they did not die." Feemor looked at him with concern, while Qui-Gon looked at him as if he were completely mad.

"Feemor, I saw them die. I even almost fell to the Dark Side because of Tahl's death, you can ask Obi-Wan if you don't believe me."

"Master... It is true that Tahl died for a moment, but she was taken away from Coruscant to be healed and thanks to powerful users of the Force, she recovered."

"It still does not make sense that Xanatos is alive; he committed suicide by throwing himself into the acid of Telos IV."

"Xan said he played with your mind and made you believe that." Feemor twisted his lips briefly. "He knew you would kill him and the only way to escape was to manipulate your view of reality."

"I would never kill Xanatos."

"But you killed his father."

Qui-Gon was silent about this accusation. It was true that he had killed him, but he never intended things to end in that way. Crion had started the fight and Jinn was only looking to defend himself. And his affection for Xanatos prevented him from doing anything against the young man.

"I'm sorry." Feemor murmured at the discomfort that developed in the room. 

"It's okay, it's the truth, I killed him. It's my fault that Xanatos has gone to the Dark Side." Qui-Gon tried to get rid of his own pain, though he knew that was far from possible. 

But he was always perfect at faking his emotions, so no one really knew how much he had been suffering all those years. 

"So now you get along with Xanatos." Jinn changed the subject after repressing his emotions.

"Yes, he wanted to make peace and I accepted. He redeemed himself and was able to return to the Jedi Order after passing some trials; he managed to become a Jedi Knight thanks to Master Tahl". Qui-Gon closed his eyes and swallowed with difficulty his saliva; she had succeeded in doing what he could not, and it was inevitable for him to feel miserable. 

"I'm glad to hear that." He replied after taking a deep breath. "Is there anything else I should know?"

"I think not, our Supreme Chancellor is still Palpatine. And there have been some attacks from the Confederacy of Independent Systems, though we are still far from knowing what their true purpose is." Feemor answered, trying to remember in case he forgot any details. "Do you want me to take you on a tour on the Room of a Thousand Fountains? Maybe you can try to walk around a little bit."

"Okay." Qui-Gon agreed, looking for a moment at the wheelchair he was meant to use until he could walk properly again. "But first, I'd like to ask you something."

Feemor stopped before standing, turning his attention to Qui-Gon again. He could see that Jinn feel a bit disturbed, but even though he had his doubts, he decided not to bother him with questions.

"Have you ever felt that everything that happens to you doesn't make sense? As if your mind were being manipulated. It's a strange feeling." Qui-Gon mentioned, and after saying that, he felt a sharp pain in his head and he throwed a low complaint.

"No, Master, it didn't happen to me. But I think you should stop thinking about it; you have spent a long time in a coma and surely that has caused you to be so confused." Feemor responded to that, making Qui-Gon lie down again because of the sudden headache. 

Qui-Gon didn't want to accept it, but maybe Feemor was right, maybe all he thought about was simple confusion.

Maybe his own mind had misled him, and he was indeed the bad person his close ones said he was.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, most of the previous chapter and this one was only inside Qui-Gon's mind. Thank you very much, dear Palpatine! 
> 
> Also thank you very much for reading this and leaving kudos. ♡♡


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